ChibiPuri
by movedtopencildarts2
Summary: There's an Atobe-mini and a Sengoku-mini and... Where's the Ryoma-mini? Where are all these chibi-versions of the tennis regulars coming from, anyway? Side B 2 - These Higa-chuu people must train a lot, what with having two of their captain. -On Hiatus-
1. Side A I Dear God

**Characters: **Tenipuri Chibis, Normal-sized Prince of Tennis characters.

**Universe: **Tenipuri shorts and Anime hybrid

**Warnings: **Crack, Fail (on authoress' part), canon-breaking

* * *

Bored. Inactive. Tired. Uninterested. Drowsy. Those were words used to describe a Jirou in its normal habitat of Hyotei grounds. Just not today.

"Ho my god, look look look, it's Atobe-buchou, it's _you_!"

The whole two hundred members of the tennis club turn to Jirou, and indeed, there is an Atobe in his arms. A very little Atobe, squirming around and shouting something along the lines of "Be awed by ore-sama's prowess!" which is a line the whole tennis club are very much familiar with. Except that there is no prowess to see. Just... just cavity-inducing cuteness.

Atobe promptly bursts in through the door, hair and tuxedo all disheveled, and he mumbles something about hiring a better hair stylist before stomping over to Jirou. Jirou sends his captain a smile.

"Atobe-buchou! Back from that ball you were—"

Atobe yanks mini-Atobe out of Jirou's arms. Jirou pouts as the screaming mini calms considerably in his normal-sized-counterpart's arms. "Ore-sama's Mini-sama is not to be harassed."

The mini-Atobe's yells die down completely and he looks up to Atobe with big eyes. Big, puppy eyes.

Atobe growls. "Don't look at ore-sama like that."

The mini-Atobe looks all too ready to burst (again) when Gakuto pulls him out of Atobe's hands. The mini-Atobe growls in the same fashion as that of Atobe and starts pounding his little fists on Gakuto's arms. "Stop pulling ore-sama around like that! My hair will get ruined."

Shishido snickers from the sidelines.

Gakuto laughs out loud, snuggling with the mini-Atobe and ruining his hair. "Wow, he really _is _you! But more like a teddy bear!"

The mini-Atobe finally explodes, letting out a shrill cry in Gakuto's ear. The redhead yelps and covers his ears with his hands, and Atobe hollers to catch his mini-sama before it escapes. Again.

What he does not expect is the giant horde of mini-regulars suddenly appearing from everywhere; from inside the lockers, jumping out from the school building, and it's the only warning the surrounding students get before Atobe barks out a shrill order of "Go! Catch them, each one of them, a thousand yen for each you get!"

That gets all the students running, hands scrambling for a mini-tennis player two times less their size. The minis let out a collective squeak and run away, students hot on their heels. Mini-heels. An unlucky few run into legs or trees or squirrels and get knocked out.

The stampede of mini-tennis players fade after a few seconds. Oshitari surveys the casualties: there are three Fudomine-minis up on the tree, namely the Tachibana siblings and Ishida, too scared to jump off. Yamabuki-mini Dan Taichi ran into a tree, and mini-Sengoku was shaking him to wake up. The mini-Kamio and mini-Shinji were being surrounded by fangirls, along with most of the Hyotei-regular-minis, minus the escaped mini-Atobe and.. mini-Shishido.

"Choutarou!" Oshitari hollers. Choutarou snaps to attention. "Behind—"

Choutarou squeaks when he feels something bump into his legs from behind, and he nearly buckles over and falls to the floor, had Shishido not been there to catch him. Shishido barks out some sort of "Shoo!" to the thing behind Choutarou's legs, but Choutarou hushes him and turns.

The silver-haired regular is not prepared to see a blue cap and wide, chibi eyes. He stops the squeal from tearing from his throat and dives down to catch the mini-Shishido, but his fingers only manage to catch mini-Shishido's cap before it ducks out of the way and runs. It trips a few seconds later, letting out a little squeak, and the nearby female students squeal and start taking pictures.

Choutarou pouts, clutching the mini-Shishido's cap to his chest as the mini-Shishido pickes himself up and runs away.

* * *

"Tarundoru!"

Yukimura hisses. Again with the 'Tarundoru'-ing of Sanada! It's the third time this day, and all the players are distracted! The hell you doing, jeopardizing our chances at winning?

Another "Tarundoru!" sounds from Sanada, albeit a bit higher pitched than the last. Yukimura promptly stands and stomps over to the Rikkaidai vice-captain, who stiffens and turns around to face him. The whole Rikkaidai tennis club gasp as they see what it was their vice captain was hunched over.

A mini-Sanada.

Yukimura instantly brightens and saunters over to mini-Sanada with a dead-obvious lilt in his step. He bends over and pinches Sanada's cheeks. "So... so cute~!"

Sanada's face is set in horror, and he slowly inches away.

The mini-Sanada pouts. "T-Tarundoru!"

Yukimura squeals. The tennis club members stare, mirroring Sanada's expression, and they almost shriek when Yukimura bends down to mini-Sanada's face level.

"No, no, buchou, please don't ki—"

Yukimura holds onto mini-Sanada's hat and yanks it off. He puts it on his head, twisting it a few times to get the right fit, he and visibly brightens. "I have a Sanada-hat!"

The Rikkai captain looks down, preparing to unleash more harassment on mini-Sanada, when he sees those eyes. Big, chibi, watering eyes. The mini-Sanada is pouting.

The tennis club members gasp. _Dear god, Sanada is.. pouting!_

Marui and Niou double over laughing. A wave of guilt washes over Yukimura, and he bends down to scoop mini-Sanada in his arms. "Now, I have a Sanada of my own!"

Sanada, the real one, had escaped somewhere throughout the whole event, red-faced with his cap drawn over his face.

"Hey, buchou, look over here!" Akaya calls from the opposite side of the court, and Yukimura looks over, imaginary sparkles all around him as he smiles, snuggling the mini-Sanada to his chest.

"Yes, Akaya dear?"

Akaya shivers. Since when did his captain ever call him _dear_? "Err, the Seigaku.. chibis are here..."

Marui clutches his stomach, laughs coming out as wheezes. Too bad Sanada had missed this!

* * *

"So... you're saying that the... chibis have spread?"

Tezuka pushes his glasses further up his nose, ignoring his coach's curses at the mini-tennis regulars pulling at her hair. "Yes."

Atobe gulps. "From where did they arrive? When?"

"Ow! You little shit!" sounds from beside Tezuka. Too bad for him, Atobe had _Sakaki_. All the chibis were scared of him.

"They arrived from Hyotei's general direction," Inui answers for his captain. "You don't suppose... you had something to do with it?"

"Don't accuse us," Atobe growls. "The Hyotei chibis were fine; it was the Fudomine and Yamabuki chibis who were out of hand."

Yamabuki and Fudomine were not stomped over by chibi-stampedes, thus, were excluded from the emergency meeting. Good for them. They'd probably get wind of it and invite themsel—oh, here they are now.

Sengoku is tackled in the legs by his mini, and they both let out a small "Lucky~" before Sengoku bends down and looks his mini in the eye. He pokes his mini's cheeks. Very puffy. "Lucky~"

His captain, Minami, nudges him on the shoulder. "Sengoku, we're having a meeting."

He was ignored, as per usual.

He takes a seat beside Yukimura, who is currently dressing up his mini-Sanada like a girl to a new Barbie. As Minami eases himself on the chair, Yukimura hisses at him. "That's _Sanada-baby's _seat."

Minami suddenly understands why Sanada is not here. "S-sorry..."

He surveys the scene from his position standing beside Yukimura and his... doll. He finds his smaller-him huddling in the corner, along with a few other regulars... whose names he has forgotten [1]. Minami begrudgingly admits that there are also some Yamabuki regulars there whose names he's forgotten. Not his fault.

All the Hyotei-minis are staring down at the Rikkai-minis, while the Fudomine minis were all crowding around the newly-arrived Tachibana. The Yamabuki-minis have started crowding around Sengoku as well, but Seigaku-minis were still continuing their activity of pulling at their normal-sized-coach's hair.

But.. there was something missing...

"Hey, Tezuka. Where's your Echizen's mini?"

* * *

**Words: **1289

**A/N: **Phew! My longest chapter so far. This is a chaptered fic, by the way! Leave a review to make Sanada-baby happy? :3

**Preview:**

"Chibisuke?"

**A/N2: **Haha, that's it. I'm spoiling everything with just a single line. But hey, in case you didn't watch the movie, you can go watch it at animefreak[period]tv, under the category "Prince of Tennis: National Tournament." A movie-exclusive character is appearing~!

You know you want to click the shiny review button~

**Edit: **Sorry, the site was being retarded again and decided to delete two of the horizontal rulers. D:


	2. Side A II Basic Guide to Slapstick

**Characters: **Tenipuri Chibis, Normal-sized Prince of Tennis characters.

**Universe: **Tenipuri shorts and Anime hybrid

**Warnings: **Implied shonen-ai, fail (again), chibi-overdosage, canon-breaking

**Please read in ¾ or ½! **

* * *

"Hey, Tezuka. Where's your Echizen's chibi?"

Tezuka pushes his glasses even further up his nose, looking very much like an Inui administering some Inui Juice something-or-other. "We haven't seen him. Or the original one, for the matter."

Oishi jumps in his chair slightly. "I thought you said earlier that everyone was present."

"Earlier?"

"..." Oishi coughs, and leans over to cup his hands around Tezuka's ear. "..._in bed._"

Tezuka's face falls. "Oh. That's because you insisted on checking up on them instead, so I had to—"

"Instead."

"Yes."

The mini-Shinji in the corner starts mumbling. Tachibana's ear catches several words that sound suspiciously like "Kamio" and "Buchou" and "At least they're not in a relationship", and he tries not to jump to conclusions. It's kinda hard not to, though.

He leans down and scoops up the mini-Shinji and the mini-Kamio. He etches some sort of imaginary tennis court on the floor while Ryuuzaki's protests are drowned out by the hype the mini-Seigaku regulars are making over her hair.

"Shinji, I want you to play tennis here."

Tachibana eases the mini-Shinji on one side of the hand-drawn court, while the mini-Kamio hops out from Tachibana's arms and to the other side. They spawn their respective rackets out of nowhere (alas, such is anime physics, mini-Shinji thinks in his mind) and they start playing.

The game is all too familiar to Tachibana, and he experiences several moments of deja vu just watching. He eventually leaves his spot and occupies one of the meeting table's chairs, where the mini-Tachibana takes his place. The other chibis start crowding around the makeshift court, several stray cries of "Me next!" or "Let's play!" reaching the normal-sized regulars' ears.

It's not long after when suddenly _everyone in the room _is watching the mini-Akaya versus mini-Tezuka with some sort of morbid interest. Tezuka Zone keeps drawing balls to hit Tezuka's increasingly reddening forehead and Akaya keeps on hitting the poles (where the pencils substitute for the real thing) with his shoulder. But they live and go on! Chibis have some sort of endurance made for slapstick like this.

A very loud "Buchooouuu!" sounds from the door, and everyone hisses as they tear their eyes from the chibis' game. Momoshiro busts the door open, mowing down the Yamabuki-minis that were unlucky enough to stay nearby, and Sengoku lets out some sort of strangled sound and tries to peel off the flattened chibis from the floor. "Echizen's missing! Apparently, his mom and cousin haven't seen him, and his dad and brother are over at America..."

Oishi mumbles again, and Tezuka catches several words that sound suspiciously like "Echizen" and "missing" and "again with this bullshit," among other curses. The two little locks of hair on Oishi's forehead stand straight and wave around like antenna. If Tezuka didn't know better, he'd say that his vice-captain's a millimeter short from being another Shinji.

Tezuka coughs, the flush from his face fading. "O-On to the matter at hand, Momoshiro."

Momoshiro salutes, half-jokingly, and the mini-Momoshiro finds it... cool. Very cool looking.

"Have you contacted his father yet? We have to inform him."

"But..."

Tezuka's eyeglasses glint, a very captain-ly aura surrounding him. (Inwardly, he's grinning. _I should do the eyeglass-glint more often._)

Momoshiro flinches. "Yes, buchou!"

* * *

"Ah, sorry to interrupt you, Echizen Nanjiroh-san, but—"

"A~h? Sorry, dad's out." Momoshiro can hear a loud yawn.

Momoshiro blinks. "...R-Ryoga Echizen-san?" [1]

"Yep. Something the matter?" Yaaawn, says the phone in Momoshiro's house.

In case you didn't notice, Ryoga's still yawning. "Yeah, well, Ryoma's gone missing..."

Suddenly Ryoga's long yawn stops. "Chibisuke?"

"Y-yeah... There are chibi versions of all the tennis regulars here too..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Hello?"

Momshiro can hear a clattering sound from the receiver and the dull sound of footsteps against carpet. There's a distant-sounding voice hollering in English. "Hey Kev [2], Ryo's fucked up with something again!"

"Again?"

"Yeah; think I should go visit a while?"

"Mhmm."

There's a bit of silence on the other end before Ryoga starts shouting again. "You better not be eating my oranges!"

A non-committal "Sure, sure," comes from the receiver before Momoshiro hears Ryoga pick the phone up again.

Ryoga's tongue reverts back to Japanese. "Hey, mind telling mom that I'll be coming over? Thanks, bye!"

The line is abruptly cut, and Momoshiro can only stare at the phone in his hands before sighing.

* * *

"Yeah, so, um," Momo rubs the back of his head nervously as all the room's normal sized occupants egg him on with stares. Non-encouraging stares; the ones under the 'Creepy-looking' category. Minus Yukimura, who is... applying make-up. On who... well, you probably know by now. "That's what happened."

"Again?" Atobe repeats. "A similar incident has occurred before?"

Momo shrugs. _Eh, guess we have to ask Ryoga when he arrives, _is the conclusion all of the normal-sized people in the room make. And the chibis are now staring up at them with that annoying puppy eye look.

Atobe growls again. "What do we do with _these_?"

Sengoku scratches under the chin of the Eiji-kitty, and its tails curls and uncurls as it purrs. For some reason, the mini-Eiji is a cat, but no one's complaining. "Hey, we should bring them home. Like, keep your own mini to yourself."

Oishi's antennae calm down, and he bends down to pick up his mini. It stares up at him, and he belatedly realizes that his mini's hair is fashioned in ponytails. "Ah, I'm fine with mine... I guess." ("What's with the hair decks?" Sengoku says, but his captain elbows him below the ribs. "Sorry, I'll be a good boy. For sure now.") "I feel kinda sorry for the Shinji family, though; two mumbling voices in their house might scare them too much," he says, trying (fruitlessly) to undo his mini's hair ties.

Atobe feels bad that his mini-sama isn't present. "I trust you don't plan on kidnapping that cat, Sengoku?"

Sengoku stops scratching the Eiji-kitty's ear and laughs awkwardly. "Of course! I like my own little buddy better," he responds, giving his mini a gentle pat on the head. Mini-Sengoku grins cheekily and lets out a little "Lucky~" in response.

Yukimura does not approve. "Can I bring Sanada-baby home?"

"No," comes the crowd's answer.

The Rikkaidai captain is seething in anger. "Who said that?"

"No one," comes the collective reply. It's much too unnerving how everyone is scrutinizing him, and Yukimura accepts defeat, beckoning his mini to come over. He tears the fairy dress off from Sanada-baby and shoves it on his himself-mini instead.

Sengoku is about to say something, but Minami elbows him in the torso again. Mini-Sengoku acts as Sengoku's mouthpiece today and says "Yukimura looks like a girl."

The mini-Yukimura shrugs. "Eh, you haven't seen Shuuko."

"Which one?"

"Fuji and Oishi." [3]

"Oh."

Mini-Yukimura shrugs and shakes his head. His long blue hair gets caught on the fairy wings and he lets out a cute little squeak.

Sakaki coughs. "It is late. Captains, gather your team's chibis and assign each to their respective normal-sized counterpart. Dismissed!"

* * *

**[1] **They met in the movie.

**[2] **Oneshot for anyone who names who this is first! OC or not, just tell me who you want as the main and I'll see if I can post it up on my "We Are" fanfic.

**[3] **Anyone here remember Tenipuri family? 8DDD By the way, Shuuko can be a (feminine) nickname for Shuichiro = Oishi, or Shusuke = Fuji.

**Words: **1213

**A/N: **Shh. Very slowly, I'm trying to make my chapter-per-words higher :). Oh, and mind voting in my poll? It's over at my profile page. Thanks! :D Oh, and unless I add some sort of weird prefix like "mini-" or "chibi-" or "-kitty", it means I'm referring to the normal-sized one.

**Preview:**

The ball bounds up past the laundry rod, over the fence, and dives to bounce on mini-Tezuka's forehead. The bonsai clippers in his hand close involuntarily and snip off a whole branch in the process, but Tezuka's face turns red.

It's not a bit too later, when he tries to drag his mini to the second meeting, that he encounters Oishi along the way, dragging along his mini who seems to have taken a liking to wearing his younger sister's clothes.

[-------]

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	3. Side A III No One Loves Aspirin

**Characters: **Tenipuri Chibis, Normal-sized Prince of Tennis characters.

**Universe: **Tenipuri shorts and Anime hybrid

**Warnings: **Crack, Fail (on authoress' part), canon-breaking, shounen-ai

* * *

Four thirty into the morning, Tezuka mechanically slaps his clock the moment it rings (invariably destroying his seventh clock) and sits up. He fixes his bed and finishes his morning routine of shower, change and eat, but before he gets to the next step (which is shaping the bonsai,) he finds mini-Tezuka holding the bonsai branch clippers. Or scissors. Whatever you call those.

Tezuka is having a hard time admitting that his mini is better at bonsai-shaping than him. But the steady 'clip-clip' of the clippers and the 'chirp-chirp' of birds and the 'woof-woof' of the yeti (and whatever other wildlife in the house) eventually bores Tezuka. He shrugs it off, though; it is actually peaceful with no teammates around. Apparently, the heavenly being/s had different plans.

Everything goes in super slow motion as a pink (?!) cat jumps from the fence and lands on mini-Tezuka's forehead. The clippers in mini-Tezuka's hand snap close, and when off goes a leafy limb, Tezuka's patience goes flying out the window with it.

A impossibly large bump appears on his mini's forehead-slash-kitty-landing-pad, and the mini wails "Tezuka Zone!" for no coherent reason.

Or maybe there was a reason, as the cat that had jumped up on the roof was being sucked back to mini-Tezuka. Along with other house plants, the papers in Tezuka's hand, and a bunch of other things that would cause pain when thrown at a person. Oddly enough, these items were sucked, not thrown, to a person, and by the time the household objects had stopped their assault on mini-Tezuka's vortex forehead, they were gathered in a neat pile on top of him.

_Alas, it lives_, Tezuka notes disappointingly, as his mini digs his way through the pile of assorted appliances. The cat, Tezuka finds, is actually an Eiji-kitty, and it escapes before mini-Tezuka can start another appliance hurricane.

Before his parents come stomping down and shrieking, Tezuka quickly grabs his mini (who is suddenly in the Seigaku uniform) by the collar, stuffs him in his bag, and makes his way to the school.

And then Tezuka belatedly realizes that today is Sunday when Atobe calls for a meeting at ten in the morning.

* * *

When Oishi wakes up to the merrymaking-and-other-unexplainable-shit that is his weird life, he finds his mini being assaulted by his fish. Angel fish. (Breathe in the irony.) Right inside the tank full of water is a one-sided war between aquatic life and his smaller, fainted clone.

"Oh dear god!"

He bounds over to the tank and attempts to dip his hand in the water to scoop mini-Oishi up, but the clown fish are threatening to bite his fingernails off. He hurriedly grabs a plastic cup by the sink and he dips it in the tank, swatting the fish away with it before using it to scoop his mini back up to the air, the much needed air. Three percent oxygen and hordes of nitrogen assaults his mini's nose.

Oishi lays his mini flat on the coffee table, and using three of his fingers to push at his mini's chest and a straw to force oxygen in his mini's small mouth, he performs some sort of downsized mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. A bit later, a spurt of water rushes up through the straw to meet Oishi's lips, and he recoils in disgust at the taste of fish-feed-flavored tank water. At least mini-Oishi lives.

Cue the cellphone ringing from the bedroom, and Oishi leaves for his bedroom to answer.

"Hello, Oishi speaking."

"It's Tezuka. There's another meeting. Atobe offered to have it at his mansion instead of Seigaku's tennis clubhouse."

"Ah, Tezuka—"

The door in the living room opens and closes, and following the sound of the door slamming shut is a loud greeting of "Hoi hoi~!" and "Nya nya~!"

"—do we have to bring the minis too?"

There's a slight pause from the other side, and Oishi suspects that Tezuka's talking to Atobe on a different line.

"...Yes. Apparently, Atobe sent for Kikumaru to gather the Seigaku regulars. Have you seen him?"

The bedroom door opens with another loud "Hoi hoi~!", an even louder "Nya nya~!" and some sort of strangled sound from mini-Oishi.

"Oh, um, just a sec, Tezuka."

Oishi covers his cellphone with a hand and reaches over to pull his mini from Eiji-kitty's jaws. "No," he says, lightly flicking Eiji-kitty on the forehead. Its ears fall flat against its head. "No eating."

Eiji laughs, roughly patting his mini/kitty on the back. "Betcha talking to Tezuka-buchou!"

Oishi grins sheepishly with a nod and returns to his phone conversation. "Yeah, he's here. Should we go get the others?"

The bedroom door opens and closes again as Oishi starts fishing clothes out from his closet.

"If it's not too much trouble, then it would be appreciated. Ten o'clock, before lunch."

"Sure."

Cue line cut, and when Oishi finishes changing, he realizes that Eiji has gone ahead.

* * *

Somewhere in the general area of Tezuka's house, Eiji-kitty has been caught by not-mini-Tezuka. The Seigaku tennis captain finally realizes how practical the Tezuka Zone really is and decides to reel in Eiji as well. Unsurprisingly, Seigaku's resident acrobat isn't too far away and only crashes into a mailbox before being completely reeled in with the power that is Tezuka Zone.

"Eiji, do not make your cat jump roofs and houses. It is disruptive. Ten laps around the courts."

Eiji grins cheekily. "What courts?"

Tezuka's face falls. "...Hyotei's courts...?"

Eji waves his hand carelessly and grins. "Later, later," he says, and his cat also waves its paw carelessly, grinning at mini-Tezuka smugly for some reason. Maybe it's still that baseball thing, or the cowboy one... [1] Well, it doesn't matter much now anyway.

* * *

"Eiji. Give your cat a job."

Choutarou's face flushes, and Shishido pats his doubles partner on the shoulder. "Get out of the gutter. You can do it."

But Choutarou whimpers and buries his face in his arms.

"Your cat made the world so much more complicated," Tezuka says, rubbing his temple with his pen. "Your cat has caused Niou's, Yukimura's, and my chibi harm."

"How did Eiji's cat manage to land on all their foreheads and cause damage of bonsai (and etcetera)?" Choutarou questions, trying to take his mind out of the proverbial gutter, but it's proving very hard when you know that there's hot guys sitting all around you. And one of them is your doubles partner. "How do they all have the Tezuka Zone anyway? They should really stop sucking things to their forehead..."

Tezuka stiffens, glancing over at the aforementioned Rikkai members. Niou is flirting around with Yagyuu, and Yukimura is still playing dress-up-the-Sanada-baby. Pretty normal. Tezuka simply shrugs in reply.

From beside them, Atobe is ordering around a poor Fudomine regular by the name of Kamio Akira. "Have you finished the list?"

Kamio hisses. "You told me to get the punch bowl and several cushions earlier. What are we doing; a slumber party?"

Atobe does his hair-flippy motion. "Well, as long as you finish with the other tasks, you can continue checking the chibis' attendance."

Kamio grumbles under his breath and takes the clipboard in Atobe's hands. "Where are the pens?"

"Over at the grey desk, second drawer from the bottom."

Kamio grumbles again as he skulks over to the desk. He grabs a pen and starts writing.

Seigaku:

[x] Tezuka Kunimitsu

[x] Fuji Shuusuke

[x] Oishi Shuuichiro

[x] Inui Sadaharu

[x] Eiji Kikumaru

[x] Kawamura Takeshi

[x] Momoshiro Takashi

[x] Kaidoh Kaoru

[ ] Echizen Ryoma

Hyotei:

[ ] Atobe Keigo

[x] Akutagawa Jirou

[x] Mukahi Gakuto

[ ] Shishido Ryou

(Choutarou fingers the mini-Shishido's cap that he has tucked safely in his pocket.)

[x] Oshitari Yuushi

[x] Kabaji Munehiro

[x] Ootori Choutarou

[x] Hiyoshi Wakashi

Fudomine:

[x] Tachibana Kippei

[x] Ibu Shinji

[x] Kamio Akira

[ ] Sakurai Masaya

[ ] Uchimura Kyousuke

[ ] Mori Tatsunori

(Kamio tries not to say that he's almost forgotten about their absence and continues listing the names down.)

[x] Ishida Tetsu

[x] Tachibana An

("Hey, did Saint Rudolph even attend the meeting?"

"...Eh. Prolly didn't get overrun by chibis then."

Over at Saint Rudolph campus dorms, Mizuki squeals as the mini-Yuuta approaches him.)

St. Rudolph:

[ ] Mizuki Hajime

[ ] Kisarazu Atsushi

[ ] Nomura Takuya

[ ] Yanagisawa Shinya

[ ] Akazawa Yoshirou

[ ] Kaneda Ichirou

[ ] Fuji Yuuta

Yamabuki:

[x] Minami Kentarou

[x] Higashikata Masami

[ ] Akutsu Jin

[ ] Nishikiori Tsubasa

[ ] Nitobe Inakichi

[x] Sengoku Kiyosumi

[ ] Kita Ichiuma

[x] Dan Taichi

Rikkaidai:

[x] Sana

("Hey, would you mind writing the complete name of our school?"

"Huh?"

Yukimura yanks the pen out of Kamio's hands and writes the full name of his school.

"Hmm. I knew our full name looked better."

"...Huh?")

Rikkai(dai) Daigaku Fuzoku:

[x] Sanada Genichirou

[ ] Yagyuu Hiroshi

[x] Marui Bunta

[x] Niou Masaharu

[x] Yukimura Seiichi

[ ] Yanagi Renji

[x] Jackal Kuwahara

[x] Kirihara Akaya

[ ] Urayama Shiita

("Oh look, Urayama is included."

"...Should I strike that out too?"

Yukimura ponders this over for a moment, and sweat gathers on Kamio's forehead.

"...Nah. It's fine."

Kamio lets out a sigh of relief.

Shinji looks over his teammate's shoulder and reads through the list. "...Rokkaku, Higa, and Shitenhouji aren't included? Figures. I mean, they're too far, but then why would Rikkaidai be included? I've forgiven them for that incident with Tachibana-buchou, except for, naturally, the one who hurt Tachibana-buchou—"

"Gah!" Kamio starts flailing around, almost dropping the clipboard on the cake on the desk (no one knows why they need one, though), and he sends a glare to Shinji. "Stop mumbling when your mouth is near my ear! It's... annoyingly_ ticklish_!"

But what Kamio doesn't notice is that everyone was actually looking at the paper from above his shoulder earlier. Everyone else backs away and continues whatever they were doing.

"But what about Shiten—"

"Fine, fine! I'm writing it down!"

Kamio stabs the paper with the pen and starts writing.)

**SHITENHOUJI:**

("There! All better! Now stop mumbling!"

Shinji mumbles a bit more before backing off and getting himself a bit of punch. Why is there punch? No idea.)

**SHITENHOUJI:**

[ ] Chitose Senri

[ ] Oshitari Kenya

[ ] Shiraishi Kuranosuke

[ ] Koishikawa Kenjirou

[ ] Ishida Gin

[ ] Hitouji Yuuji

[ ] Konjiki Koharu

[ ] Zaizen Hikaru

[ ] Tooyama Kintarou

(Somewhere in Osaka, mini-Yuuji and mini-Koharu are trying not to jump their partner's normal-sized counterpart.)

Rokkaku:

[ ] Kurobane Harukaze

[ ] Shudou Satoshi

[ ] Itsuki Marehiko

[ ] Kizarazu Ryou

[ ] Saeki Kojirou

[ ] Amane Hikaru

[ ] Aoi Kentarou

Higa:

[ ] Kite Eishirou

[ ] Shiranui Tomoya

[ ] Hirakoba Rin

[ ] Kai Yuujirou

[ ] Tanishi Kei

[ ] Chinen Hiroshi

[ ] Aragaki Kouichi

[ ] Yamashiro [2]

("Who the hell is Yamashiro?"

Yanagi shrugs. When Kamio turns to Inui, he also shrugs. "He's... a Higa regular."

"Very helpful. Thank you.")

Kamio slams the clipboard on Atobe's lap. "Here. Done. Can I take off the maid uniform now?"

Atobe smirks, and Kamio's eye twitches. "But Shinji will be disappointed. Ah well, up to you. Bathroom's outside, first right."

Kamio casts a hesitant glance at Shinji. And Shinji is pouting. When Kamio rolls his eyes, Shinji pulls the puppy-eye card on him, and Kamio hisses. "Damn you and your wicked puppy eyes."

As Kamio skulks over to sit beside Shinji, Atobe stands. He puts the clipboard on the desk beside him and claps his hands. "The meeting will now commence!"

Eveyrone cheers and bounds over to the eight-layer cake in the middle of the room. Tezuka facefaults. "Why is there cake? And punch? And confetti? And blankets?"

Tachibana groans. "Aspirin over here," he says, beckoning Tezuka over with the medicine bottle. "I think we'll need it."

From beside him, Minami glances at the party and grimaces. "Beer over here."

Sengoku's face brightens. "Did someone say beer?" But Minami elbows him once again.

Atobe wonders to himself "Who the hell brought beer to a—" but he abruptly cuts his own thoughts off with "Eh, beer's good anyway."

Minami coughs and continues. "Since when did we become the last sane captains?"

Sanada raises an eyebrow at this. Apparently, no one thought he'd attend, as all the chairs are occupied. "Are you implying that Yukimura isn't sane?"

The four of them glance over at Yukimura, who had borrowed one of Atobe's maid outfits and shoved it on mini-Sanada.

Sanada whimpers and buries his face in the bean bag chair. "Never mind."

* * *

**[1] **Both were Tenipuri chibi episode settings.

**[2] **No really. I dunno who this is. He was mentioned in fet[dot]fudomine too. Just mentioned, never heard of again. D:

**Words: **2053 :D

**A/N: **Sorry for the late update! I'm busy with a paper and won't be able to update for a while, so to compensate, this is a longer-than-usual chap. Oh, and please vote in my poll! It's over at my profile.

**Preview: **THERE IS NONE. I don't have even a bit of the next part D:.

The review button is staring. At you.


	4. Side B I Failures in Communication

**Characters: **Tenipuri Chibis, Normal-sized Prince of Tennis characters.

**Universe: **Tenipuri shorts and Anime hybrid

**Warnings: **Crack, Fail (on authoress' part), canon-breaking, shounen-ai

**A/N: **Side B starts now~! Basically, they're about the schools which didn't participate in the meeting: Shitenhouji, Rokkaku, Higa, and St. Rudolph. OVA knowledge is needed to get all of the humor in this, though. Apologies. Side B length varies.

* * *

Four thirty into the morning, Shiraishi is _still _swinging his racket. Over and over. Chitose eventually gets bored.

"...Shiraishi-buchou."

"Hmm?"

The sound of the racket swinging slices the air again.

"...It's time for the bell." [1]

"Oh shi— "

* * *

Chitose waits by the gate again. He makes sure that the sign is still in that same spot as every Monday, and that there are people gathered around a few feet from the gate. Currently, his fangirls are taking up said space, and varsity players have taken to jumping over the Monday crowds like a certain tennis team captain, but minus the stupidity.

And thus, the bell rings and the normal students (fangirls not included) shuffle back into their classrooms. At least tennis varsity has extra hours in the morning, seeing as most of the school's reputation rests on them and that the nationals are nearing its jaws. 'At least' for only four people, though.

Chitose looks up at the clock strapped on the bell tower. [2] Three, two—

A cloud of dust gathers from the horizon of the path the fangirls are occupying, and when Chitose tiptoes to get a better look, the fangirls follow his eyes and squeal, waving their arms around and blocking his sight. So much for finding out who it is.

"Kyaa, Oshitari-sama~!"

Okay, so maybe that was obvious enough, looking at the blur of a student that parts the crows and whizzes through the path. "Can't outrun Naniwa's Speed Sta— "

And slams into the sign again. Chitose can't stop the snickers ripping through his throat.

The crowd comes nearer towards the injured Kenya, whines of "Ah, Oshitari-sama!" and similar cries flying around. Good; now the crowd is exactly one foot away from the school main gate.

Three, two, o—

"You're _still _too soft!"

Shiraishi runs in all his blinding, buchou-ly glory, jumping up over the fangirl crowd as they all squeal. Why the hell are they squealing? I mean, they've seen Chitose set this up several times over...

"Ah, ecstasy~ " Shiraishi moans out, and the fangirls squeal louder as he does some physically impossible flips in the air.

His face slams onto the gate, a loud 'tonk' sounding alongside the second ringing of the bell. Oops, looks like the crowd was a bit nearer than normal. Oh well.

The next segment's arrival is soon; not that Chitose had to do anything for them to show up anyway...

"Ah, wait for me, Koharuuuu~"

"Iyaaaa~ If you catch little old me~"

Chitose whispers a "Yes!" along with a pump of his fist. Looks like his work here is done.

"I'll give you a ki~ss~"

And the Main Gate of Holding stands tall and pristine, surviving another round of the Shitenhouji's morning routine of merrymaking. Except for that face-shaped dent on the top.

No one spares a glance to the chibis executing the same stupidity routine to the right.

* * *

The gate to tennis courts close in front of the mini-Shitenhouji team, and their eyes feast on the thinning light in between like it was holy dust being swept out from heaven.

Mini-Shiraishi rests a mini-bandaged hand on the surface of the wood. He knocks twice, and the sound is very hollow. "Hmm~"

Mini-Koshikawa cocks his head. "Something wrong?"

Mini-Shiraishi spins around to face his teammates. His eyes scan the crowd of four (as mini-Koharu is weeping for his missing beloved) in front of him.

"Ishida Gin-san. Would you so kindly punch the door?"

"...Huh?"

Mini-Shiraishi smiles and pats a patch of wood; darkened, full of holes, and munched by termites.. "Around here."

An ant the size of his hand comes out of the hole and hisses menacingly. Mini-Shiraishi squawks and backs away. He takes a pose which he assumes is an international sign of peace; baring his teeth and smiling nicely. [3] "Okay, okay, we won't destroy your... house. For lack of a better term."

The ant hisses again, its pincers snapping open and close threateningly, but it retreats into its hole and leave the mini-Shitenhouij in peace.

("Oh look, it's an ant trail! Shiraishi, Shiraishi, it's an ant trail!"

"No, no, Kintarou, don't stomp on them _aga_— ")

From the other side of the door, the mini-Shitenhouji can hear ant-ly wails.

Mini-Shiraishi's 'buchou senses' kick in, and he shoves Gin towards the rotting patch of wood. "Go, go, go! While they're distracted!"

The ants nearby hiss, raising their pincers in some sort of battle cry, and the mini-Shitenhouji regulars take battle stances (which actually can't be called fit for battle; but tennis does that).

("...Kentarou. You left flattened ant carcasses on the ground. Near the door.")

Unbeknownst to them, a war has started in that same door.

* * *

"Ho my god, look look look, it's Shiraishi, it's _you_!"

Over at Hyotei, Jirou sneezes.

In a neat little pile, in front of a hole in the door's corner, are six very teeny Shitenhouji tennis regulars, looking as if they had just rolled in mud and fell down the stairs.

The ants weep for their fallen comrades.

* * *

Shitenhouji:

[x] Chitose Senri

[x] Oshitari Kenya

[x] Shiraishi Kuranosuke

[x] Koishikawa Kenjirou

[x] Ishida Gin

[ ] Hitouji Yuuji

[x] Konjiki Koharu

[ ] Zaizen Hikaru

[ ] Tooyama Kintarou

* * *

**[1] **OVA knowledge is needed!

**[2] **LOL. I dunno. Shitenhouji seems like the type to save space and go green.

**[3]** Did anyone know that monkeys will attack if you do this?

**Words: **843

**A/N: **for Midnightxwolfx, who despaired about Shitenhouji's absence. Here it is~ albeit short. Sorry! D;

**Preview: **(Side A Story)

"...This is retarded. Stupid shit."

"Akaya! No cussing!"

"Dammit."

A mini-tarundoru-slap, and Kirihara tries to stop the giggling from ripping from his throat.

Are you sure it's a slap? It's more like a tickle!


	5. Side A IV Changes in Alliances

**Characters: **Tenipuri Chibis, Normal-sized Prince of Tennis characters.

**Universe: **Tenipuri shorts and Anime hybrid

**Warnings: **Crack, Fail (on authoress' part), canon-breaking, shounen-ai

**Review Replies:**

Midnightxwolfx – Ah, thanks! I'll make sure to ask you if I need anything. :D

IceWolfQueen – Ack, sorry for the late update! I hope this one is up to the other chapters' standard!

Everyone who reviewed – Thanks for the review! Sadly, I cannot respond to each review with the reply function, so I hope replying here will do.

**Listen up; a kinda important part in chapter one has been edited. **Namely, what Atobe looked like when he appeared in Hyotei's tennis courts to practice. He came from a formal party with all those fancy fountains and those golden windows etc etc. It's important. Basically, he was wearing a formal thing. A tux, I guess.

* * *

"This is retarded. Stupid shit."

Mini-Sanada whacks Akaya behind the head. Rather, he whacks the _normal-sized_ Akaya. "Don't curse, Akaya!"

Needless to say, the mini-tarundoru-whack was more like a tickle, and Akaya fought the giggle threatening to rip from his throat.

What was Akaya cursing at anyway? Well, Kamio's shift was over and everyone needed a new lackey. Akaya was voted for unanimously, and everyone cheered as Akaya was finally (and forcefully) removed from the DDR pad and stopped beating everyone in dancing. Yukimura started beating everyone consecutively after that, with, unsurprisingly, Kamio in second place (but the maid uniform he was wearing got torn here and there; not that Shinji was complaining).

Thus, the lackey uniform is the bane of Akaya's existence. Or maybe Atobe is the bane of his existence. _Fucking weirdo; does he have a cross-dressing fetish?_

Akaya puts on a sour face and pulls at the hem of the maid dress' skirt. "I hate this fucking dress. It's all... _frilly," _he says, grimacing at the dress that is the wound of his already-dashed ego. The mini-Sanada perching on his shoulder not-really-whacks him again, and the corners of Akaya's mouth twitch upwards.

Akaya's shoes are of black leather, his socks a clean white with a green ribbon weaved around the sock cuff. The sleeve cuffs, collar and apron are a traditional white, and the dress under it is a dark green that looks black under a weak light. But, unlike (lucky) Kamio, Akaya had the honor of the horror that is his skirt.

A mini-skirt.

"Don't forget the pleated part!" Marui says, about to tackle his kouhai [1], but Jackal has a hand around his partner's neck.

Yanagi pushes invisible glasses up his nose, and everyone knows he's calculating another thing. "...Eighty-seven percent chance of you attracting someone either homosexual or bisexual..."

Niou cackles as he grabs the frilly, white headpiece in the uniform closet (almost grabbing some sort of blue wig with a green headband attached—wait, was that Sanada's cap?) and places it on Akaya's head.

Inui looks at Sengoku's face and snorts at the drool dripping from the corners of the Yamabuki third year's mouth. "Make that a hundred percent."

From a bean bag chair (on an I-see-all platform), Atobe scowls. He crosses his arms and looks up, in the general direction of Kabaji's face. It's too tall for Atobe to see, though. If only there was a high-chair bean bag, but that is not the topic! Atobe slaps his cheeks lightly and tries to remember what he was going to say.. "...Hasn't my mini-sama found the gathering yet?"

Kabaji shakes his head, but upon seeing Atobe's reaction (which is none, seeing as Atobe can't even see him) he simply says, "...No."

Atobe huffs. "What were the exact conditions of the ball when my mini-sama arrived?"

"...Dessert buffet."

Passersby gasp. "Whoa, he talked!" "I know right, he actually answered—"

Atobe stomps a foot on the wooden platform, and his scowl manages to deepen. He did not think that his mini-sama's absence would annoy him like this. "Continue with the party; a dessert buffet will arrive later."

Suddenly Kabaji is forgotten as the passersby let out another collective gasp, and when the staff door opens everyone crowds around the long table being rolled out it like moths to a fire. The minis, however, for fear for their life and, not wanting to get stepped on, gather together and beckon Tachibana to scratch in another tennis court on the floor for them.

(Sumire Ryuuzaki would always make sure to spitefully step on the mini tennis court that the Fudomine captain had etched in _her _tennis club room; it was a ritual she held every morning.)

"What were the other conditions for the mini-sama's arrival?"

"...Formal gathering, you snapped your fingers..."

Atobe's eyes light up in recognition as he, (for several times, actually) snaps his fingers, and after the seventh finger-snap finally the noise dies down.

"Everyone!" He stands up abruptly, the bean bag chair falling backwards (oddly, with a 'pwee~' sound) and Choutarou squeaks (sadly, Choutarou, Shishido-senpai is not there to cover your ears from Atobe). "Cheer for ore-sama! It is _important_!"

Tezuka cocks an eyebrow, and ignores Tachibana who himself is trying to ignore the proceedings going on in the midst of the party-slash-meeting. "Why would we agree to bolster your ego?"

"...I'll let everyone stay at the mansion overnight."

Everyone (minus Tezuka, Tachibana, and maybe Sanada) cheers.

Ishida of Fudomine pumps a fist in the air. "Which cheer, then? The 'winner will be Hyotei' one or the 'Atobe!' one?"

Atobe smirks. "The first one."

And the loud "Katsu no wa Hyotei! Katsu no wa Hyotei!" rings throughout the neighborhood. The neighbor grandparent pair Suzuki's throw their hands up in the air and go all 'those whippersnappers today'.

Tezuka pinches his nose bridge, and when he looks behind him for his 'Sane-only' party's support, Tachibana is busy scratching a mini-tennis court on the floor, Sanada is passed out from being forced into several costumes (something smells like alcohol), and Minami has converted to the _dark side_.

"Katsu no wa Hyotei!" Minami cheers enthusiastically, greedily ogling the chocolate fountain. "Katsu no wa—"

The door bursts open, and a single chibi-sized silhouette stands in the doorway.

"Ore d—"

Atobe snaps his fingers and points to the shining (?!) silhouette. "Kabaji, go!"

"Usu!" Kabaji leaps off from the bean bag platform and runs over to the mini-Atobe standing by the doorway.

"Kabaji," the mini-Atobe says cooly, "Is there something you needed? I would not appreciate it if you ran into me—oof!"

Kabaji grabs the mini-Atobe and starts walking towards the real Atobe. The mini flails around, and all the other tennis regulars cheer.

Kamio sighs, all signs of being excited for the dessert buffet gone, and fishes around in his apron's pockets for a pen and marks the checklist.

Hyotei:

[**x**] Atobe Keigo

[x] Akutagawa Jirou

[x] Mukahi Gakuto

[ ] Shishido Ryou

[x] Oshitari Yuushi

[x] Kabaji Munehiro

[x] Ootori Choutarou

[x] Hiyoshi Wakashi

Kabaji dumps the mini-Atobe on Atobe's lap, and the two Atobe's lock gazes. The room's temperature drops several degrees, and everyone goes back to their previous activity of ogling the dessert buffet or playing mini-tennis on an imaginary court. Ignoring the temperature drop's _source_, alas, is hard.

"...Ah," the mini-Atobe says, and it reaches its arms up and looks up to Atobe with those _damned_ puppy-eyes.

Sengoku laughs. "Ah, I think your chibi wants a hug!"

Mini-Dan hugs his counterpart, who grins cheerfully and hugs back.

Atobe frowns at him, then at the Dan pair, then at his mini. "Asking for a hug is not manly. Do not try to ruin my reputation," he lectures, poking his mini by its little beauty mark.

Mini-Akaya looks at his maid-clad counterpart in disdain. "Psh, _manly_..."

The mini-Atobe pouts and casts its damned puppy eyes on Atobe. "...It's cold."

"K-Kabaji, turn off the air-conditioner."

"Usu."

"...I'm hungry."

"Chef, bring here the usual." [2]

"Yes!"

"...I'm bored."

Atobe sets down his mini on the floor and pushes him towards the other minis. "Everyone, the tennis courts are outside, in the west garden [3]. Kabaji, Tachibana, assist in marking the boundaries for the mini tennis courts."

The mini-Atobe smirks, and Hiyoshi facefaults. "Whipped much?"

"Is there still anything the mini-sama requires?" Atobe asks, crossing his arms and attempting to regain his lost dignity with a cool look.

The mini-Atobe pulls out a racket from his Hyperspace Pocket © and smirks. "None. Let's go, Kabaji!"

The mini-Kabaji looks up at his counterpart, almost as if asking for permission, and Kabaji nods at his mini. Mini-Kabaji dashes off to mini-Atobe as the mini-regulars all follow him to the courts. "Usu!"

"Kabaji, Tachibana, assist them in setting up a temporary mini-tennis court. I'll have a real one here by tomorrow."

Kabaji nods, and Tachibana feels another headache coming on as he gropes around for the aspirin bottle (which Tezuka had made off with).

* * *

"...Okay, so this is the doubles court..." Tachibana says, pointing at the outer lines of the makeshift court of sand and pebbles. The minis let out collective 'ahh's.

"...And this is the singles—"

Mini-Akaya throws a tennis ball at Tachibana's forehead and pinpoints it at his mole with a hundred-percent accuracy. "Shut up! We know that already! We're not idiots!"

Sadly for the mini, the normal-sized regulars have all changed and arrived by then.

"Tarundoru!"

Sanada kneels down and raises his hand. The mini-Akaya shrinks away as the other minis run behind normal-sized Tachibana for safety.

Mini-Akaya counts down in his head as Sanada's 'Tarundoru'-stanced hand nears him. Three, two, one!

A ball is thrown in the air from behind them, and the sound of ball connecting to racket rings in the air. The knuckle serve narrowly misses Sanada's hand and the Rikkai vice-captain's eyes narrow. "Akaya!"

He turns around to give Akaya a real-sized Tarundoru whack, but Yukimura grips his arm.

Yukimura's eyes narrow dangerously as he yanks Sanada's hand away from Akaya. "Sanada, I think it would be best if you left the responsibility of giving the chibis punishments to your chibi." Yukimura then glances at the mini-Sanada, and the mini-Sanada nods and gives mini-Akaya a little whack. Yukimura lets go of his vice-captain's arm and steers him to the courts where the rest of the regulars are.

"Akaya," the mini-Sanada says, prodding the mini-Akaya with his racket, "No tennis until after three matches. Ball duty."

Mini-Akaya grumbles but complies anyway. Mini-Oishi gasps.

"Wha—Does Rikkai push its members with physical punishment?!" he says, drenching a mini-towel in a puddle of cold dew water gathered on a blade of grass. He starts cleaning mini-Akaya's bump, and the mini-Akaya leans into the touch. "You may be good players," mini-Oishi growls, "but this...!"

Mini-Akaya sighs as the cool, damp towel comes in contact with the swelling on his forehead. "...I wish fukubuchou was nice, like Seigaku's...." The mini-Akaya grumbles, and with his hyperspace pockets he produces a complete Seigaku tennis regular uniform set. Mini-Oishi backs away as Akaya (somehow) magically puts it on, and the mini-Rikkai regulars gasp.

Suddenly, over at the normal-sized tennis courts, (the one who has gotten out of that darned frilly maid uniform)Akaya's Rikkai tennis uniform turns all white and recolors into... Seigaku's?

"Holy—"

Mini-Sengoku brightens. "Oh, then I'll go to Rikkai! Yamabuki doesn't really win, and I want to at least reach the nationals." He then procures a mini-Rikkai regular uniform and puts it on.

Sengoku's Yamabuki clothes's colors fade away, and as the colors flow back to his jersey it turns into... "Hey, I got Rikkai!" he says, stretching his limbs around in his new Rikkai clothes. His former teammates wail for one of their few famous members' departure.

"Ehh?" mini-Dan says. "Then, then I want to go to Seigaku desu!" He grabs a Seigaku tennis regular uniform from the hyperspace pockets that chibis have handy for occasions like this. Along with the Seigaku uniform is a white cap, and mini-Dan grins and puts the cap on first before poofing away his Yamabuki uniform and replacing it with Seigaku's.

Dan flails around and wails as his clothes bleach and turn into Seigaku's. His green headband melts and morphs into a white cap, complete with the name 'Echizen Ryoma' hastily scribbled on the inside. Dan quiets down, and he tips his hat down with a grin. "...M-mada mada dane... desu."

Mini-Marui pops a bubblegum bubble. "Hey, Jackal, Fudomine's captain," mini-Marui points to Tachibana, who is fixing up the third mini-tennis court, "He's nice, isn't he?"

Mini-Jackal's head glints ominously. "...Let's go to Fudomine?"

Mini-Marui nods cheerily. "Yeah, and their uniform's cool-looking too!"

The two of them pull out Fudomine uniforms from thin air and their Rikkai uniforms poofs away to make room for the new Fudomine jersey.

Mini-Jirou pouts, and he discards his mini-Rikkai and procures a Fudomine one. "Marui, wait for meee!"

"W-waah!" Marui yelps, tugging at his blank white jersey. Jackal watches his doubles partner in fascination as the white jersey dyes itself black and red. "J-Jackal, look at yours!"

Jackal looks down at his jersey and yelps. "W-Woah!"

Jirou jumps up and down. "Wow! What's happening?! This is so _awesome_!" he squeals, jumping off the walls in his brand new Fudomine jersey.

Mini-Sanada hisses. "Stop transferring to other schools!" he snaps, clutching the mini-Niou by the collar and hoisting him up.

Mini-Niou shrinks in fear, and mini-Yukimura gasps. "We can't use violence, Sanada!" he says, sparkly pearls of tears dripping from his bright, wide eyes. "That's it; I'm breaking up with you!"

Mini-Niou gapes as mini-Yukimura grabs his hand. The mini Rikkai buchou smiles brightly at him, and mini-Niou can see him sneak a glance at mini-Sanada with an evil glint in his eyes. "Let's go to Hyotei! I like blue, anyway."

Mini-Niou sputters. "Wh—wait, wait wait wait—Aaaah!"

A large dust cloud forms around them as mini-Yukimura forces his teammate out of his clothes and into Hyotei's tennis regular jersey. Mini-Yukimura then leisurely puts on his own Hyotei uniform.

Mini-Sanada wails. "Yukimuraaaaa!"

Mini-Shuusuke Fuji glances over at mini-Yukimura, and the mini-Rikkai captain is cackling while sneaking evil glances over at mini-Sanada. Mini-Fuji grins and walks over to them. "Sadistic?"

Mini-Yukimura bats his eyelashes. "Ma~ybe~?"

"Fuji Shuusuke, sadist in the works. Mind if I go to Hyotei with you?"

Mini-Yukimura's eyes brighten, and mini-Niou backs away from his buchou. "It's a pleasure! Nice to meet someone who I can, er, _collaborate _with. Any victims in mind?"

The two mini-sadists cackle in their corner.

"A~h!" Mini-Gakuto points at the mini-Eiji and mini-Oishi. "They're Seigaku's Golden Pair, right? Let's learn from them as a doubles pair!"

Mini-Yuushi sighs tiredly, and although he's running his hand through his hair in mock disinterest, he grins. "Let's, Gakuto. Let's."

After poofing off Hyotei uniforms and poofing on brand new Seigaku uniforms, the normal-sized Oshitari Yuushi and Mukahi Gakuto find themselves clad in a complete Seigaku tennis regular jersey for no discernible reason.

Kamio sighs, slapping the pen down on the clipboard with a hand tired from lots of writing. "And thus," Kamio says, holding up his clipboard, "The following changes have been made..."

Seigaku:

[x] Tezuka Kunimitsu

**[_] Fuji Shuusuke**

[x] Oishi Shuuichiro

[ ] Inui Sadaharu

[x] Eiji Kikumaru

[x] Kawamura Takeshi

[x] Momoshiro Takashi

[x] Kaidoh Kaoru

[ ] Echizen Ryoma

**[x] Kirihara Akaya**

**[x] Dan Taichi**

**[x] Mukahi Gakuto**

**[x] Oshitari Yuushi**

Hyotei:

[x] Atobe Keigo

**[_] Akutagawa Jirou**

**[_] Mukahi Gakuto**

[ ] Shishido Ryou

**[_] Oshitari Yuushi**

[x] Kabaji Munehiro

[x] Ootori Choutarou

[x] Hiyoshi Wakashi

**[x] Niou Masaharu**

**[x] Yukimura Seiichi**

**[x] Fuji Shuusuke**

Fudomine:

[x] Tachibana Kippei

[x] Ibu Shinji

[x] Kamio Akira

[ ] Sakurai Masaya

[ ] Uchimura Kyousuke

[ ] Mori Tatsunori

[x] Ishida Tetsu

[x] Tachibana An

**[x] Marui Bunta**

**[x] Jackal Kuwahara**

**[x] Akutagawa Jirou**

Yamabuki:

[x] Minami Kentarou

[x] Higashikata Masami

[ ] Akutsu Jin

[ ] Nishikiori Tsubasa

[ ] Nitobe Inakichi

**[_] Sengoku Kiyosumi**

[ ] Kita Ichiuma

**[_] Dan Taichi**

Rikkai(dai) Daigaku Fuzoku:

[x] Sanada Genichirou

[ ] Yagyuu Hiroshi

**[_] Marui Bunta**

**[_] Niou Masaharu**

**[_] Yukimura Seiichi**

[ ] Yanagi Renji

**[_] Jackal Kuwahara**

**[_] Kirihara Akaya**

[ ] Urayama Shiita

**[x] Sengoku Kiyosumi**

After a few seconds of tense silence, shouts of protest immediately explode.

Omake:

"Hey," Higashikata Masami of Yamabuki says. "No one transferred to Yamabuki."

Minami falls to the floor. "Forever 'jimi'. Right? Right. Forever 'jimi [4]."

They both sigh. "Hey, at least... Peace and quiet?"

The Jimmies hi-five.

* * *

**[1] **Kouhai = underclassmen, the senpai/sempai you always hear of means upperclassmen.

**[2] **Atobe's taste is similar to that of mini-Atobe. At least, he assumes it to be the same as his, as they're basically the same person, so Atobe orders for his mini what he would usually order for himself.

**[3]** I feel that Atobe has one is east, west, and south to the house itself. The north one houses a pool.

**[4]** Jimi = Plain; their doubles pair is called 'Jimmies', which is very sad.

**Words: **2600

**A/N: **Fuwaaaa, I took long. I'm sorry; I've been busy writing articles for the school events that had passed during last month... And yay, I got a position in our journalism club~

**Preview: **Side B II – Higa

"You want go-ya? Okay, I'll _give _you go-ya. Come here. Go-ya."

"Are you mocking me? Do _you _want go-ya? Do you? Huh?"


	6. Side B II No Such Thing as Good Advice

**Characters: **Tenipuri Chibis, Normal-sized Prince of Tennis characters.

**Universe: **Tenipuri shorts and Anime hybrid

**Warnings: **Crack, Fail (on authoress' part), canon-breaking, shounen-ai

**Apologies **for the long overdue update. I posted up two chappies to make up for it. And, for the one who ranted to me about Jyousei being missing, then you're in for a surprise 8D.

[-------]

"Step one," Hirakoba Rin reads from the note, tennis bag slung lazily over a shoulder, "Do not leave the door unlocked, unless you want fangirls to covet your belongings."

Chinen Hiroshi nods and locks the door. He twists the handle around and, finding it locked, lets out a hum of satisfaction.

"Step two," Rin continues with a yawn. He sighs, obviously finding the whole thing tedious, but Chinen rolls his eyes and prods Rin to continue. "Right, right, step two, make sure there are no holes that are three tennis balls tall, and one tennis ball wide."

The two Higa tennis regulars share a confused glance.

"Eh," Chinen waves a careless hand in dismissal, "That's impossible."

"Famous last wo—"

"Go to the next one."

"Huh…" Rin shrugs, but proceeds anyway. "Step three, call the other teams that made the nationals… What?!"

Chinen bursts a vein and promptly snatches the note away. "Sheesh, it's already six…" He says, mussing his hair with a hand cramped from too many swings. "How hard is locking up—Phbbt?!"

_Step three_

_Call the other teams (teams that made nationals)_

_Ask for updates regarding the Chibi Plague_

Rin sends him a look that says 'I told you so,' and Chinen resigns with a sigh. "…Let's go. We can't be the only one to see this, right? Just ask the others tomorrow."

[-------]

Tomorrow arrives. For some reason, they are training at the beach. Again.

Definitely, you know that today isn't the day you'll want to die (if you want to die happy) when your teammates accuse you of kidnapping the illegitimate child of you and your underage, testosterone-packed tennis rival. Or maybe you'd want to commit suicide if that does happen. It depends on the kind of person you are, frankly.

Kite Eishirou, currently waging war with his so-called 'illegitimate child', is one of those people who, instead of choosing between living through the event with a forced grin or wanting to crawl in a hole and die by invisible forces of shame, is one of the few who would prefer for everyone around him to die instead.

His mini is probably the same, though whatever commanding aura the real Kite has is lost on the mini, seeing as the is the mini-Kite is not the only Kite there, and the normal-sized counterpart is present to loom over him.

For mini-Kite, preferring everyone around him to die is an impossible dream too, seeing as mini-Kite cannot break bones with those little limbs. Kite, obviously, has some sort of chance at murder, especially with that special martial art of his, but having his team die is retarded (and retarded is what Kite is the complete opposite of). He'll probably try if he has some sort of way for the bodies not to be discovered, though.

"You want go-ya?" Kite hisses, prodding his mini with a straw taken from his smoothie drink. The toothpick umbrella, sadly, has been taken by Kai Yuujirou, so Kite had to stick with using his straw instead.

Kai hollers around ''Oh gods, he's threatening his child!" with an obvious lilt in his voice, and Kite throws some several clumps of go-ya slices at him, which Kai manages to dodge. But the juice gets stuck in his hair, and Kai grimaces and jumps in the seawater.

When the mini-Kite proceeds to ignore him and, insultingly rude enough, gulps up half of Kite's Pineapple Orange smoothie, the Higa tennis varsity captain finally snaps. "Okay, I'll _give _you go-ya," he practically growls, and he procures another jar (somehow, using the chibi's trademark Hyperspace Pockets ©) full of the bitter, cursed stuff. Mini and normal Higa regulars alike try to make themselves invisible as Kite says, "Come here. Go-ya."

Kai comes back out from the water, Tanishi Kei now following him. The capped boy whispers something to Kei, and when the heavy-built boy opens his mouth Kite holds up two bittergourds threateningly. Kei stammers out something along the lines of "K-Kai wanted to tell you about your illegitimate—"

Kai manages to slap a hand over Kei's mouth, muttering something hastily to the other boy, before Kei gulps and says "Did I say 'about illegitimate vegetables?' I meant share! Share, yes, share th-that… the mini-Kite…gave Yamashiro-kun go-ya…"

They both shrink away and retreat to the water.

Mini-Kite cocks an eyebrow, comfortably settling in the (now clean and empty) glass of Kite's smoothie. Mini-Kite sighs tiredly, like a grandfather against a rebellious child, and brings out a jar of go-ya himself, though notably-slash-obviously smaller. "Are you mocking me?" Mini-Kite says, raising another eyebrow and now having both his eyebrows raised. Mini-Kite's expression is of complete dominance as he says, "Do _you _want go-ya? Do you? Huh?"

By now, both mini and normal Tanishi Kei have bounded off to the nearest body of water (the sea), clad in shark suits [1]. Mini-Shiranui Tomoya and Mini-Aragaki Kouichi shriek, flailing around in the water as both Kei-sharks make a dive towards them, and the stealthy, always-evading-camera-capture Yamashiro [2] is floating helplessly in the water with a pickled thing stuck in his throat. Who knew the effects of go-ya were that bad?

Over at the shore, both Kite's have started a two-man, two-side food fight with go-ya. One of the whole vegetables slaps Chinen across the face as it flies across the air, and he makes a run for the nearest shelter, which is Kai. Chinen ducks behind his teammate and refuses to watch as the go-ya splatters all over Kai, and he faints as the slices of the cursed things catch in his mouth. Rest in peace.

_But where is Rin? _Chinen whispers to himself worriedly, hoisting up Kai's limp body to use as a bittermelon shield.

_Oh, he's just over there, snatching away chibi-Kite…_

Chinen promptly chokes on air and everything goes in slow motion as mini-Kite throws a whole bittermelon towards Rin's face. It grazes his cheek just as Rin bends backwards in a crooked version of matrix, and Kite stops angrily clumping go-ya slices together to look. It all gets worse when Rin realizes that his back's cramped on him, and his grip on mini-Kite has weakened and that it's crawling towards his face armed with bittermelons (he's ignoring the stickers on the vegetables that say 'NEW Strawberry-flavored Bittermelon! [3] Only for 3320 Yen! You're not stupid, aren't you? You _certainly _haven't been swindled!').

Chinen salutes Rin's brave sacrifice. He dives for the water, collecting Yamashiro's body along the way, and jumps back onto shore and escapes. Kite slinks away with promises of a box. A box of what, go-ya?

Mini-Kite brings the bittermelon up, holding it like he's about to stab Rin with a knife.

And he stabs Rin's mouth open with it, and Rin chokes. His face goes white, then green, then a million of other interesting shades until it goes violet and his limbs weaken. His back looks like it's snapped as he falls on the sand and faints.

Kite arrives with a large mailbox with several holes poked on the lid.

[-------]

**[1] **Dream Live 5th reference, to the Higa 'Assasins from the South' song's music video, and to the shark floatie on Tanishi Kei's actor's arm.

**[2] **Seriously, who is this?

**[3]** 'Lights Flashing' reference 8D. It's another fanfic of mine.

**Words: **1023

**A/N: **This was too long to be a Side B chap! Anyway. –cough-

Hell, this has been hell. We kept getting power outages and internet connection breaks because of the recent storm here in the Philippines. And YES, ponder upon Side C! Muhahaha~

**Preview: **_Side C - ?-?-?_

"_Get me out of here!"_

I love keeping readers at the edge of their seats :3. And no, Side C is not –insert random AU here-. Bonus oneshot request for whoever gets what Side C is!

Help me god, these last two chapters need a make-over _pronto_!


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